Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Hhhmmm Hope....

Image result for hope quotes for ptsdWARNING GRAPHIC AND COULD BE TRIGGERING.... read at your own risk.

Image result for hope quotes for abused childrenHope to me is like a knight in dull armor.  The reason why I say that is because, if it was a knight in shining armor, it would be new to the battle that hope would go to and won't know it it would survive, and a knight in dull armor knows what the battle is like because it has experience and knows that it will survive and succeed.  Where my hope comes from is my family, seeing them okay and healthy fills me with hope that everything is going to be okay. For me hope can be restored by believing in the fact that my family and everything  I care about is going to be fine. My hope is threatened by tragedies that happens to either me or my loved ones. Imma tell you a story about my past and how hope helped me through. So, when I was 4 years old, I lived in Oceanside, California. I lived with my stepdad Kenny, his girlfriend Desiree, and his Mom and Dad, at the time I was a only child, and it was hard for me because my mom Lana was locked up until I was 5, and I would come home everyday from school hoping that she would be there, but she wasn't. So I gave up hope, and one day before summer break, I came home from school and was walking towards my room and I heard laughter from the living room, I went in there, I started crying because on the couch there was my mom. But that didn't last long because she went to Vista and started living with my auntie Natalie, so I was left with my stepdad. Before I was 5 my dad started to do really bad things to me, and I would scream and cry, Until, I gave up hope. I would let him continue doing what he was doing, he even took my room and gave it to his girlfriend's newborn Crystal, so I was locked up and sleeping in the bathroom. I hoped every night that I would get something to eat or even come out, but that hope was short because the day before my 6th birthday I was almost killed by this man, who pinned me against the cabinets with a kitchen knife, I was scared for my life so , I hoped and prayed that I wouldn't die that day. The next day at school the counselors pulled me in to talk to them because Kenny had called in to tell me that he's picking me up after school, the counselors noticed the fear in my face when they told me. So I told them, they told me that I won't be going home with him, and I ended up being driven to a foster care facility where I waited and hoped to be placed into a foster home after a couple days  a nice foster family took me home I really liked it there but I messed it up because I was so malnourished for so long I took food from the kitchen at night .They took me back to the facility, where another family fostered me, They kept me for a year til I was 7, through that whole time I was hopeful that I would find my home and I did.  a few months after my mom got me and took me to new mexico to live with her, and a few months after living with her we went for my regular checkup and they told me that I had ADHD, ODD, ADD and PTSD.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Less is more

In Gilbert's TED talk he talks about Synthetic happiness vs Natural happiness, and how in the end both happiness's ended up being equally happy. One of the many points that he makes is "Happiness can be synthesized." What he means by this is that the hole your feeling inside your chest, is from happiness that you are feeling can be temporarily with materialistic items. For example, Children, as anyone can observe, children can be made happy with a toy because they don't know what natural happiness is, Or like how women are happy on Valentines Day because they got flowers from their significant other. But there's a  difference between the two references because, Children only care that they got the toys, whereas the ones receiving the valentines gifts acknowledges the thought and effort behind the gift.  But what Gilbert is trying to say is that less items tend to make people more naturally happy than people who have more. For example, who is happier? A kid who has all the new toys and all kinds of electronics or A kid who only has one or two toys and may or may not have a electronic. You might say the kid with everything but the truth is the kid with little is happier because that child can have more time with family and friends and never really gets tired of, instead of being alone with all of those items and then get tired of those things.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Social justice

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It is important to value social justice because without it everything we ever stood up for would have been for nothing.Charles L. Robbins made some very valid points about social justice in the 21st century in his TED talk. One point that he makes is that some of the people today still discriminate due to race or ethnicity. This means that people born in 2001 that are black have 1/8 chance of getting incarcerated whereas Mexicans have 1/6 chance of getting incarcerated, where Caucasian people have 1/2 chance of being incarcerated. I personally believe that racism is still in effects for example, in Detroit, Miami, an African american man named "Terrance Kellom" was shot by officers due to the officer "feeling threatened." Another point that he makes is that Feminism became the new "F" word, that people are now afraid to say feminism. Feminism is now an issue. For example, in an article on Huffington post, a man named Jack Mills states "segregation punishes the victim, ignores the issue and undermines the seriousness of the intimidation women are unfairly subjected to every single day." What he is saying, is that women are being undermined by men just because they think that women are frail little beings that are going to break on anything, and that they shouldn't be working, to stay home. Another point is that women and men are getting hatred and/or violence due to the fact that they are gay/lesbian, even though people say that they endorse the equal rights marriage. I think that this is inapposite because if you support equal rights marriage, then that should mean that they also support gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgenders. The final point is that 1 in every 3 homes own a gun (most likely illegal) for protection.So most people keep them because they are afraid that they will get attacked or a break in. Amongst all of these specially concern me is racism and feminism because I am from african american decent, Bisexual and I am female so I can be discriminated in 3 ways for being me.
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Image result for social justice quotes


So recently I watched a TED talk on the topic of sibling relations of happiness. His main topic was when the parents of the siblings tend to choose favorites so when that kid(s) is favored they more happy than then the other kid. The other kid(s) are kind of angered by this motion, which causes jealousy which leads to arguments  between the siblings. This leads me to believe that happiness is subjective due to your surroundings and the people in it. This is the main reason as to why children end up either rebelling against parental rules or poor choices in school or everyday life. These choices effect the child's way of being and future, like for example me in the first born so I got a lot of attention from my family members and when my sister was born she became my mother's favorite so she got everything and me, I got in trouble for all of the things that my little sister did because she was mommies little princess. With my mom doing this I felt very unwanted and just there to be there, so I started to act out and make it harder for everyone because I felt that sibling favoritism is unjust and shouldn't be there at all, because like the picture said "Don't play favorites in your family, it destroys the core value of what families are all about. That's why I love the fact, in God's family we're all equal."  This tells the main point behind the topic of family favorites. And if you don't know that it exists than your most likely are the ones getting it.

Friday, February 3, 2017

My Happiness.....

When I was asked what makes me happy, I honestly couldn't answer that. The only things that makes me happy is seeing everyone I love and care about happy. That alone makes me happy in general because you can always be happy but it doesn't feel that nice when someone you know and love is sad or lonely.So i do anything in my power to make that person happy even at the cost of my own happiness but their happiness is enough happy for me so I wouldn't really care, because if their happy I'm happy. For a few examples when I lived in New Mexico, when my sister Aliyah was sad or angry I would always be there to cheer her up because we are the same age just exactly 1 month apart from each other, so I knew what makes her happy and what she wants and when she wants it. Or when my mom was crying I would be there to hug her and tell her that everything is going to be okay and take her some where that makes her really happy like to the park or looking down from the mountains by our house. So to sum it up I'm like everyone that I care about's rock in a way, Because I'm always there for everyone who needs cheering up and I never am really sad most of the time.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

My self control levels

Image result for inspirational self control quotesImage result for inspirational self control quotes When you ask me if I have self control, I wouldn't know what to say. There's times when I have displayed that I have some self control but other times I display that I have none, but in all honesty it depends on what it is and if my mind is set to it. Most of the time I can't speak up when or if I need help because I feel that I can do it on my own without help, but the truth is that I struggle a lot and it's been like that for as long as I can remember and I really need to cut that out.  allow myself to get distracted from my priorities, I need to control myself with that in order to get a better start to my life. Then there are times that I think of the benefits of the situation and let that itself apply self control. I think that everyone has self control, but the question is........ Are they willing to use it some choose not to due to fear of what their peers will think or if it will make them seem weak minded. Most of the time it makes people more wise and liberal. We need more self controlling people nowadays because more and more students of this generation are more likely to drop out or be expelled because they had no self control. So in conclusion, it depends on the situation when it comes to self control.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Being Stereotyped

The first  time that I have been stereotyped was when I started at my old school "Tierra Adentro of New Mexico". My friends well before we were friends they thought that I was a really mean person because that was just the way they seen me as but, in all reality I was jumpy and very shy. They used to bully me just because I looked liked that. They used to call me a female dog and said that's why I had no friends because just because they thought that I looked really mean and snobby. For a long while I was a loner because of it but, to my luck to of my friends from my old schools went to that school so I had about 2 friends and after that people started talking to me because my 2 other friends were popular I guess, so people started to be nice to me, but there was like 2 girls that were really mean and wanted to fight me just because they didn't like me hanging out with Armando (one of my friends). So they told me to meet them in the parking lot by the school after school so I did and all my friends showed up and the girls got scared and ran off and they left me alone after that. I broke down crying because the people that used to bully me were standing behind me backing me up against the bullies. And for the first time I had a lot of friends.